You can make your girlfriend bawl like a baby even if you don't close her hand in a car door.
It's true and it happened to me.
This is not a pretty story, but it teaches a valuable lesson, so you may want to stick around until the end.
About 30 years ago, on a cold, freezing January night my ex-wife and I were leaving a party.
She had one adult beverage too many because she was walking barefoot in the snow.
That should've been my first clue that something was not right. I walked her to the passenger side. I opened the door as she poured herself inside.
I closed the door, making sure that she was inside before we journeyed home.
I slid into the driver's side, put the key in the ignition and started the engine.
I was just about ready to put the gear shift in drive, whenI heard this soft muffled sound.
That's when I looked over and she was looking at me.
She was whimpering like a puppy.
Weddings can be an emotional event.
But the wedding was over.
I get it, whining.
It's a thing some women do at weddings.
It's one of those uncontrolled emotional things.
I understand. There are even some guys who do it, especially when they're drunk.
You know the kind… All sloppy drunk and cryin – “hey man, I love you…” I get it.
But She just wouldn't stop. I hate to see a woman cry, don't you? Tears kept coming like a tsunami. It started with a soft whimper.
Then quickly grew into a howl. Then she started making that Lucy cry face from that old TV show “I Love Lucy.”
That's enough to strike fear into the heart of any man.
Thank GAWD Gloria Allred or some social justice warrior wasn't walking by.
I mean it was pitiful…
Her mouth was wide open, but there were no intelligent sounds coming out.
She kept mewling… MMMmm… mmmMMMM.
Then she took a big gulp of air and gasped – MY HAND IS STUCK IN THE DOOR!
I ran around to the other side, opened the passenger door as quickly as possible…
Yup, there she was, her mouth open, screeching like it derailed subway car–her hand was stuck in the door.
It was ghastly.
If you going to make a girl cry…
You wanted to be from tears of joy, not from having her hand slammed in the car door.
Here's my best advice.
Always treat every car ride like the guy at the amusement park.
You know the guy, who comes around to check everybody's hands are inside the cart.
Make sure your drunken significant other is belted with her hands inside the car.
In the next week or so it will be Valentine's Day and while a Snickers bar or an Almond Joy makes a great gift. There is no better way to say “I love you” than with a beautifully handwritten letter.
Now's your chance to add a little something to your Romance toolkit. Show the world what a mensch you are.
Who knows, It may even pay you a dividend.
Maybe you'll get a little something extra on that special day. (wink- wink)
And I don't mean an extra shrimp with dinner If you know what I mean?
Writing in cursive is chock-full of hidden benefits.
Cursive handwriting connects directly to your brain.
Not only will your love letters be more persuasive. Your letters will be more understood.
Yes, your love letters will become treasured memories. The kind that gets passed from generation to generation.
Every time she reads one it will bring tears to her eyes because you took the time to write that very special note.
I didn't do it then. So don't be a schmuck like me.
Write her beautiful love letters and not just for the holidays.
Love letters, like diamonds, last forever.
Handwritten love letters have style.
Handwritten letters tell the world that you're a man who is not afraid to proclaim his undying love. You are a man's man. A real gentleman.You're the kind of guy women just love.
And love letters cheaper than diamonds and divorce attorneys (mine cost me a fortune.) Love letters are priceless.